Hey, this is a very good poem. Um, i really think poems are interesting if they have a little rhyme to them, because it helps the flow better, and they dont seem choppy and confusing. otherwise, its nice.

The "I can't remember" seems a bit overplayed, maybe you could find a different way to say it. However, I still like this because not many people can write "prose poetry" and still keep it poetry.

i think this was EXTREMELY powerful and full of emotion. it was brought to life through ur wording! wow.. to say the least! altho i dont really like the style you used for the poetry..i think the overall feel for this poem is AMAZING!
keep on smilin

i think this was EXTREMELY powerful and full of emotion. it was brought to life through ur wording! wow.. to say the least! altho i dont really like the style you used for the poetry..i think the overall feel for this poem is AMAZING!
keep on smilin

heyy, thats pretty good, i dont know much about non ryming poems but yours had really good imagery. i liked it, i find it hard to write non ryming poems. great job

*clap*clap* nicely written from the beggining to end.
Very Good one indeed.
Like it a lot...
;-)5/5

This would be a great hook for the begining of a chapter all the mystery is there and you could do alot with it as for a poem it would probibly need more stucture for flow but any way great hook.

It seems quite strange, but still it has a aura of mystery in the scene it describes...I liked it a lot,it's style is somewhat majestic

That was pretty good. it was kinda intense, but in a good way. you also have a good use of language(Pensive,Immersed). Keep it up.

P.S. check my stuff out if you want.

That was very original. I thought it was good. If you work on the flow it will be excellent.
~anne~