I already did those two poems robert but this one is an excellent piece that shows that you have a true, talented gift! :)

An amazing poem. A few grammar errors but no big deal. Very well done. I think once again it needs to be broke down into stanzas but everyone has their own style. You have great detail in your poems! Take Care! Brooke~

Your poems are so different than ones I have read in the past, they have more meaning to them, and they all have a message. I love this poem, just like your others. Keep it up xX

You got the rhyming down...flows well... Wonderful messages you put in there...

One thing, for 1st person (I and we) it should be shall instead of will.

Really fantastic job...powerful words :)

i know i dion't need to comment but, I'm amazed...I hope one day I can become awe-inspiring...5/5

Really wonderful and beautiful write!
I realy enjoyed this poem. Better than
the last one I think. Great job!
God bless 5/5
<3Tay(^_^)

Another great one, goood job!!! your very good at writting! :]

You can never have a bad poem. They are all great in their own way. I love them all! and this one too 5/5
~Steff

Nice.
I loved the moral at the end.
It's really long, but certainly worth the read. Beautiful writing.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Long but this was worth the read. I really loved the sstory and the moral it had behind it. You word chose was amazingly descrptive, really brought the life out in this poem. the emtion was deep and strong. The only problems with this that I found are a few grammer, errors, and lack of punction, but if i dwelled on it I would be a hyprocite. Very well written, once again Robert you have done an amazing job. 5/5