Living this charade

Why do I pretend to like you after all you did to I?
You showed me that I was nothing that I could not satisfy.
You told me that you loved me, but got over me in a day,
And now I really want to die. Why do you make me feel this way?
Why do I hate it that you’re happy? Is it because you were sad when you were mine?
What happened to my happiness? I feel a pain I can not define.
I want to scream:
“Aren’t I good enough?
Did you truly have to cheat?”

Please tell me why am I “keeping the peace”
When you stole my hearts beat?

I’m so sick of pretending that there is no anger in me,
When that is truly all I feel.
Antagonism is my reality.

I’m not important, I don’t matter,
why else would you be disloyal?
I feel twisted by your horrid deception
My heart cries in great turmoil.

I was just a rebound.
You make me feel so desecrated,
You used me, I feel violated,
Is this hatred belated.

And I’m tearing out my hair,
I’m cutting up my skin
because I feel that this emotion,
Is better held within.

I want to tell you how destroyed,
I truly seem to be,
But what’s the point?
What will change?
this will still eat at me.

I know you’ll read this poem,
It won’t matter I have a blade,
I won’t have to live this way,
I won’t living this charade.