My dear beautiful

Don’t call me stupid
if it wasn't for this
you would have done it too
don’t call me a liar
after all I’ve done for you
don’t stand there crying
saying it was not my fault
because I’m happy
believe it or not
I’ve brought this to a halt
don’t stand there lying
you would have done the same as well
and to be honest
I don’t care if I’m in hell
I hated life
I hated love
neither ever kept me well
you told me I was beautiful
you told me I was sweet
but the depression I was dealing with
was something I could not beat
I smiled because we where friends
I cried knowing that’s all we would ever be
but please don’t blame this on your self
I swear it was all for me
I was lonely
I was sad
and I hated every thing
I came into this world
not knowing what to bring
I’ve cried so many tears that now I quench of thirst
I’ve been filled with so much bullshit that I’m about to burst
my hearts been broke so many times
that it can not be fixed
and I’ve been threw so many ups and downs
my emotions are all mixed
I’ve hated my self
since I don’t know
I guess the day that I was born
and please don’t try to force a tear
I don’t expect you to morn
in fact if your about to cry
please just lie this down
I don’t want the day I see you cry
a day I’m not around
just remember the last words
the last thing I promised you
when I kissed you on the lips
my dear beautiful
I love you

please comment I would like to knoe what you thought of my poem