I like the way you told a story, very good!

Thats pretty good I liked it!!

What I love about peoms like this is they feel so true. I can actually feel your pain through your words. I think you did a great job on the writting part. On the other end, the actual subject... you will find love again. And it will be real when you both are true with one another. It will come again, don't worry. Keep your chin up lil one. 5/5

Wow I could be writing this poem. It's so much like what I have went through! I like the way you write about your true feelings! Take Care! Brooke

you first started to talk about the first man you loved then you were talking to him plain and simple. Kee it in one status and don't change the other thing is are should be our. You have some good rythming but its abit choppy. Good try though the other poem that had all the cursing in it though I would have to say my opinion stands. As you get older you will see what I mean. Cursing is an easy way out of explaining your emotion almost like a cop out. Thousands of words in the English vocabulary and you use the most used. Me noval and make people learn from what you wright make them ponder on your words. Thats when you become a true artist of words take care and have a good one...