I don't know why?

I don't know why I am who I am,
I don't know why I do the things I do,
I don't know why I feel this way,
I don't know why I am scared to want you,
I don't know why I have to scream,
I don't know why I have to cry,
I don't know why I forced myself to be sick,
I don't know why you think I'm anything above dirt,
I don't know why my life is like this,
I don't know why I feel like I can't do this anymore,
I don't know why I prey for death at times,
I just don't know why I wouldn't have it any other way?