My walls are closing in

My walls are closing in,
loving you was the perfect sin,
but look where it got me,
being someone I don’t want to be,
always thinking of the worst,
because you were my first,
my heart is bleeding,
you are what I’m needing,
people tell me to let go,
but all I can say is no,
I loved the person I was with you,
but now I don’t know what to do,
my tears are streaming down my face,
I’m in a hurtful place,
not knowing which way to turn,
this is something ill never learn,
you meant everything to me,
now I don’t know how to be,
always crying on the inside,
the pain is what I hide,
you may think I’m ok,
but really I want to die everyday,
my life is slipping away form me,
and I’m too weak so I let it be,
its hard living my life,
when my only solution is the knife,
I cover the bad thoughts with memories,
but that never helps me,
always trying to pick up the pieces to my heart,
that you so perfectly tore apart,
I’ve lost everything I had,
constantly thinking about the bad,
I don’t know who I am anymore,
when my whole life has been torn,
my walls are caving in,
I will never win...