I Wish

Right now I should get an ‘I love you’
Or maybe a few hugs and kisses
Instead I’m looking at the stars
Making a few empty wishes...

I wish that sorry was enough
To take back all I’ve done
But sometimes that doesn’t cut it
For I am what I’ve become

I wish I could turn back time
To when he really loved me
Before the rape, before the tears
When I could really call him ‘daddy’

I wish I knew what I did wrong
To deserve to be beaten blue
I guess it’s just that mommies get mad
And don’t know exactly what to do

I wish I could give true answers
When they ask me how I feel
But I shouldn’t let my sisters know
That the pain I hide is real

I wish I could find the little girl
The one I used to be
The one who smiled all the time
‘Cause right now I just hate me

I wish the bleeding would stop
That for once I could think clear
But I guess it’s better to see the blood
Then try to see through streaming tears

I wish everyone would stop for a minute
Just so I can say one thing
‘I’m sorry for wasting and ruining your lives!’
Though I doubt anyone’s listening

I wish I could just disappear
To pretend like I never did exist
And with all the hurt I’ve caused
I doubt I would ever be missed

I wish that my wishes could be fulfilled
But each one the stars will ignore
So instead I’ll take this tainted tool
And allow my own soul to soar

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