Falling Snow

Looking out the window
At the falling snow
I wonder about you
And if you’re doing all right
If you’re looking out too
From the hospital bed

What are you thinking about?
Is it possible that your mind
Is wondering about me?
You have no idea that I’m home
And I’m doing fine
But I can’t tell you
Can’t even talk to you

I want you to be fine
I want you to be happy
But how will I know?
I hope you’ll call
Once you’re let out
But you might not
Your mind will be other places
And I may not find out
Until a day or two later
That you’re out and happy

I’m still worried about you
I can’t help it, you see
Because everything that’s happened
Starting from when I picked up
That bottle of pills
I’ve been blaming on myself
And what hurts more
Than the guilt I feel
Is that I am almost positive
That you’re in that sterile room
Blaming yourself too

All this snow does
Is remind me of you
Because you love the cold and ice
Because that always means hockey
And hockey’s your life
This time I don’t mind the snow
Because it seems to me
That it’s been snowing
Ever since that night
And maybe once you’re out
That’s the day it will stop
And that’s how I will know
That they let you go
And that you’re home

I wish there was some way
For me to tell you everything
That’s been on my mind
Since Tuesday night
Even if you were here
And I could talk to you again
I wouldn’t be able to speak
And all I would be able to do
Is try my hardest not to cry
But I know I would fail
And at least one tear
Would escape my eye
If I could spend
Just one hour with you
And try to talk about that night

There’s no way to explain
How sorry I am
Because this is my fault
That you have those cuts
And you lay in the hospital
Not able to have
Contact with friends
And being watched
Like you’re some kind of experiment

I write this now
As a tear slips down my cheek
Because I know what you’ll say
You’ll say it’s your fault
And I shouldn’t blame myself
But it is my fault
No matter what people say
I’ll always blame myself
Now my mind’s running blank
And all I can think to say
Is that I’m sorry
I miss you so much
But I love you more