Cool. I like how you used a little amount of words on each line, nice effect. It comes of as a simple poem, but the words are really powerfull and expressive. Good work, i like your stuff, you've got talent. *losers rock!* hehe ^_^ (bullies and losers forum). Im a loser too hehe. Keep writing k!

Gurdy x (GoddessOfWings)

I don't normally comment on poetry; especially on dark cliche' poetry.

I thought this poem was good. I would give it a 3.5. Mind you that the reason is because it's a topic everybody writes about. Try writing outside the box. Try using words that are above your level.

I don't mean for this to sound like an insult at all--so please don't take this the wrong way. Make people want to read your poetry by writing something unique in style.

The other reason other this poem being to cliche; that I would give it a 3.5 is because its very average. There was nothing that stood out in this poem that made me think.

Think as in, make me really have a deep thought about what you wrote.

Well there you go....
Sorry if i've offended you :)

i liked it....simple...but good great job :)
lisa xx