I am just a girl

I am just a girl. no more or less than any other, i hate myself, i curse, i stutter. i fear of being left behind, of shattered dreams and long lost childhood lives.
Each time i see you i tend to cry, you saw me the true me, or so you thought, you changed to thinking i never cared, you saw a mask id prefer not to wear.
i didn't know how to live without you, because you'd always been there. now I'm all alone, left in the gutter, overcome with pain and desire
anger took over me, i realized you would never care. i tried to pull you triggers, yet, in the end you just glared.
i let everything overcome me, i needed you to be there. i woke up from sleep with a terrible nightmare, that i took some pills, i almost died.
when i full woke i cried, my dream was only reality, i saw the nurse by my side, she told me id be all right.
i was gone for what seemed forever, getting help to feel better. i thought about you alot, i wondered if you missed me, but even more if you knew i was gone.
i remember the life i lived, the choices that made you mad, then i became sick of acting tough, covering up my pain and hurt.
i still wish every now and then, that i could tell you how i feel. yet as the days go past me, i realize that its too late.
still i am just a girl, no more or less than any other, i mess up, talk back and shatter, i do not fear of loosing hope, id done it once before, i realized it was stupid, my life meant so much more.