Bottled Up Tight

I forced myself to cry tonight,
within these walls I forced myself to cry,
It was hard to stop,
but then again...
how can I stop something I hadn't even begun?

I tried to cry tonight,
within these walls I tried to cry,
sitting there with my eyes closed tight...
trying to picture what has hurt me the most,
but still...
nothing came out.

I long to cry,
to let it all out,
to let myself be free of this ongoing
torture,
I'm out of ways to heal the pain.

I lie here
on the floor
just hoping
hoping for the pain to be released from my mind,
I look at others,
watching them weep with such ease,
and wonder why I,
can't do the same,
no matter how hard I try,
nothing ever does any good,
the pain just stays all
bottled up tight.