Living in confusion, dealt with all the fears,
The guilt, hatred, and abuse, is why you see these tears.
Crying in the bathroom, mascara running down,
Wishing I could someday be the one wearing the crown.
Sitting all alone, staring into space,
Hoping no one will ever see the helplessness in my face.
Constantly rubbing my eyes, pretending nothings wrong,
Praying that this pain inside, won’t last too long.
Putting the razor to my wrist, nothing else to do,
Why can’t I just miraculously switch places with you?
The guilt builds up everyday, to be even more,
No one sees me do it, for I always shut the door.
I take time to thing every night,
Will I ever be in the spotlight?
People are looking at me, I see the hatred in their eyes,
They say they are my friends, but some are just lies.
Why do I have to be the one people hate?
The wounded one, the shark bait.
The small imperfect fish, that leads to death for a more perfect one,
Maybe if I wasn’t so useless I could try to run.
I face so much abuse, everyday of my life,
Not the beating kind or anything to do with the knife.
The verbal abuse, yelling of everyone in my house,
Like Tom and Jerry, oh and by the way I’m Jerry the mouse.
I’m the one they chose to chase,
Look at what I have to face.
Even if I’m not in one of their ridiculous fights,
I’m still the one that has to listen to it every night.
Guilt, hatred, and abuse, is what lies within me,
Happiness on the other side is what I’m trying to force myself to see.
Trying to figure out how to find the light on the other end,
Trying to find the shine that will help my broken pieces mend.
