Fear Disorder And Other Rarities

Thoughts I didn't knew I had
Floating around in my head
About the one who used me
Looking for his next victim
And just getting away with it

Lately I've been so screwed up
Nobody understands or tries too
Psychologist doesn't know
Because I don't tell
Stupid yes, I know, I can't help it
I'm so sorry, I really am

The fear I have for so many things
Makes living so f.u.c.k.i.n.g difficult
Sometimes I wonder how it is to be dead
Curious to get a glimpse of it
So that maybe then I finally can have the rest
I want so badly now

I'm so sick to hide my feelings towards everyone
But at the same time, I'm so scared to tell them
All the problems that I have, I don't want them
People would never have searched that behind me
And maybe because of that there going to think I'm crazy or something

Diagnosed with a fear disorder
And feeling so numb these days
Parents can't say anything good to me
Being such a b.i.t.c.h and I really hate it
Hate it

She who listens to Elliott Smith's records
Loves the song called "Happiness"
Simply because there's one strong lyric in it which describes her mood so well.

"Everything means nothing to me.."