I’m choking on the lies you’ve fed to me a million times before and I’m just the worthless mess you made me. Why would our 'lord' create such a demented being and let it live in pure torment?
These words will fly straight over your head like clouds of cyanide. I know this, but they weren’t meant for you. Every letter of every word has a hidden message about a wreck of a girl and every image my words portray is meant to be another pretty picture painted in my blood.
Delirium seems to have overcome me. Dreams of intoxication fulfill me. The ruins of a once innocent child now resemble the wilted body of a brutalized prostitute. Used and abused.
This utter waste is all that I am. This echoing silence, a silence so deafening it renders me incapable of hearing your three last words. Darling, spare me the torture of trying to read your tainted crimson lips and write them down for me. Let the pen spill out your now broken heart in scarlet ink meant only for your veins and my dreams. Cascading blood haunts my fantasies, so eerily picturesque.
Does it make you ill to see me this way? The sweet scent of sick pleasure derived from psychopathic fairytales conjured up in my mind. Sick pleasure is now the only pleasure I feel in this pathetic excuse for an existence. I’m a masochistic wh0re and you’re the sadistic bastard fulfilling my every degrading desire.
Play along pet; it won’t be long before you won’t have to pretend for them anymore. It’ll all be over soon. The worms beneath our feet will thank you for your sacrifice. You will make a truly beautiful corpse, lover.
My train of thought always makes its way to death somehow. Let’s make this a murder-suicide. Slit my throat so I can feel the rush somewhere other than my wrists for once.
I bet you never saw this coming. But he made me this way. The only one to blame is your ‘God’. Rack yourself with guilt for worshipping such a fiend and join me on the other side. Beneath this soil we will meet again, worm food in its most fatally gorgeous form.
