Red

by Ryan   May 7, 2005


The scars in my mind
crying my fears so softly
just end all of this

the lines on my wrist
bleed out my hate so slowly
how long till I die

the stains on the wall
remind me so painfully
until crimsons dead

can't hear your voice call
you're screaming in vain for me
painful death in red

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  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    "The scars in my mind
    crying my fears so softly
    just end all of this

    the lines on my wrist
    bleed out my hate so slowly
    how long till I die"

    I like how you used scars on your mind instead of scars on your arm like most people do. Its very original. then you use lines on your arm instead of lines in your mind I like how you swapped the whole thing around.

    "can't hear you voice call
    you're screaming in vain for me
    painful death in red "

    Lol I think you mean "Your voice call" i hate typos.. anyways I like this ending. its powerful but light. it isnt like "bam in your face" its subtle which I like. good write. I enjoyed reading this. You should check out some of mine.

  • 17 years ago

    by Rachellea Kachur

    Very powerful and sad.

    you're a terrific writer. sad, but wonderful.

  • 19 years ago

    by Robert

    More self defeating poem then anything taken I think from a victim's point of view its sad but a good job with the wording...

  • 19 years ago

    by Child of God

    That was very creative i really enjoyed reading it

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