My life , the way i see it

My hole life, i only gain
the strong desire, hurtful pain
all i was to family was a disgrace
I'm so ashame, i cant look at my face
i wanna hide my pain i shut my eyes
let me leave, i wont make no one cry
all i am is a threat
I'm going deserve what i get
i stare at the wall, while i dream
in my head all i do is scream
I'm lost, I'm gone as will
especially sence i took alot of pills
now I'm slowing seeing a gaze
in my head, my thoughts are a maze
Wat happens in my head, i have to deal
its undescribal and crucified Wat i feel