Life is so hard

Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know what to do about it.
I never thought that life could be so hard;
Without cutting, or doing drugs.

Most of the time I just think that it Might be so much easier;
Just to go out and smoke a bowl.
But then I think about it,
If I do go out and smoke a bowl Then I will get locked up and loose my family.

I just wish that I could kill myself,
Because life just seems to hard to Live without making anymore mistakes.
All I really want to do is to make my mother happy,
With me for once.
It just seems that all of the time I Am messing up and I can't make her proud.

My one and only wish I want for This year is to see my mother not to be mad at me or yelling at me for something.

*please tell me what you think*