So torn
between good and bad
happy and sad
if i choose good
then i can go on
and be happy
but do i want that
will i REALLY be happy
or just become smaller
if i choose bad
then i can evaporate
and become a part
of the forgotten past
though will always have
a war going on deep within
contemplating the deep and dark things
i think and feel now
so do i really want to change
do i really want to get better
maybe
maybe not
in the end
it's my decision
i know i should get better
but i don't know if i want to
i i don't know if I'm ready to leave
my comfort of
darkness
and
isolation
yet i hate feeling
so hopeless
so lost
so alone
but i don't remember ever feeling
anything different
i hate living
but i know that i just
it just hurts so much
but at the same time
is comforting
such an ugly contradiction
which always leaves me
so frustrated
so confused
so torn
