hi! I did not find the poem you wanted me to read so I read this instead! its great.

have you ever heard of cause and effect. Well you wrote the effect but the cause is lacking. If your gonna write about some one who cause you pain or why they pushed you to such states I would encourage you to write about the cause too. That way the reader gets the full picture. If you just want to write for yourself that cool hide your work if you wish to share it with others look at your work from a readers point of view what will they get out of this poem. Think about it and take care...