Shattered dreams

Great poem, the use of imagery is really evocative, you clearly knew exactly what you wanted to say and had no trouble expressing in. Excellent write "what Ive wanted my whole life
is falling apart right in front of me" I really loved this line, really sets the tone and feeling from the very beginning, 5/5 x

"Ive" should be "I've and the "i"s in your poem would look neater capitalised
Now that's the boring bit done and dusted
The actual content of the poem was brilliant, I loved the 1st and 2nd stanza the most I think...throwing your dreams away is a vivid image...as they are the one thing that should be held onto
The last stanza was a little hard to read...but it wasn't terribly important
Well done :D

It was a bit discordant and random in areas and there could have been a bit more detail about your dreams and why they were so suddenly shattered. The title works well here but it lacked structure...

[lostlaureate - come find me]

I didn't like the change in structure, it rhymed . . then it didn't and it seemed to dent the flow of the poem a little. I can't say I enjoyed reading this poem all that much, but I did think that the language was well used, and if you had kept the rhyming it might have flowed a lot better.

Peace. [Sole]

Well done, that was really good, i liked it. keep it up