These feelings: Hidden but True

It is really
Truly sad
That you are someone who is always supposed to be there for me
But half the time
I really hate you
I despise you
I try not to show it
I cover up this pain
But my mask is only so thick
It can only last so long
Today my friends saw a different side of you
A side I see almost everyday
Yea, it is true
People may have it worse
But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt
You and my sister,
You fight so much
Over stupid stuff
Really
But she always ends up crying
A piece of her slowly dying
You don't really care
Or at least you don't show it
You and me, we hardly fight
But when we do
I can see that it does truly hurt you
I really hate that you would beg for forgiveness from me
But just yell and scream at her
Some would be happy,
Yes, I am the favorite
That does not mean I feel any better when you act this way
Maybe it hurts even more
You and I have had such a strong relationship
I try to tell her she is over exaggerating
But half the time she’s right
You’re wrong
Today was one of those times when we get into a huge
Blowout
Fight.
It was over something stupid really
It was the way you handled it
Screaming
Yelling
Cursing
Embarrassing me in front of my friends
You made me feel low
And I started to cry
I was having such a good time
Until you arrived
You cursed and screamed
I wished so desperately I could run
Run as far away from you as possible
It wasn't just today
It was all the incidents like this
Small, but yet so big
After a while you started to feel bad
So you got all serious and said
That you were truly sorry
And you never meant to make me cry
that's the last thing you wanted
Well, maybe if you knew
If you really knew that every time
You get into an argument with my sister
Every time you yell
Scream
Curse
Act like an idiot
I end up hurting
Even if your attack isn't directed at me
I end up waking up in the morning
To find a pillow filled with tears
Tears that I cried
Not only for me
But for her as well
Today just really hurt me
Whenever stuff like this happened before
I would just accept your apology
And move on
I am way too old for that now
Nothing you can do can erase
All the pain
All the tears
When you said sorry I just turned away
When you told me to look at you
I had a look of disgust on my face
And told you to leave me alone
For once in my life
I did not let it go
Making you feel happy
Thinking that I had forgiven you
One of these days she is going to kick you out
I will be the one saying sorry
Sorry that I never told you how I really felt.