Why Not?

Running down my face
Not knowing why
What has gotten into me?

Is it because of him
Or do I have problems here
And I just need help?

All I see is water right now
But some of the silver
Should I? Or not?

Why not
Theres no one to stop me
And no one will know right?

First on my list
The horrid thing some people use
Wow apparently it is not sharp enough?

Next does not seem like it would work
But why not try
There is no problem with them right?

Close my eyes tight
And go
Scrap away

In the blur of my tears
I see red
I really did not mean to!

I can not believe it
I actually did it
So what now? More?

Why not
I did have a tough life
And no one really cares right?

I mean though I did promise
It does not matter
Should I call someone now?

NO!?

You have no right to hate me
You do it too
So why cant I?

Don’t tell people
Please
Its between us!

But what did you do
Tell them
I cant believe you!

I have people on my case now
I have nothing to do
But do more!

Owww…
It hurts, it stings badly
But I can handle it!

If I could handle the stress
This is nothing
Just like a bee sting and burn together!

Don’t look there though
Stop! No more
Why am I doing this?

I confuse myself
What am I doing
Something stupid apparently!

But there is nothing better to do
But keep it going
With the same little things!

So should I stop
Now that people know
Though I do not care?

Maybe
But if it helps me
Then no, I am sorry!