I hope you are wanting honest comments because that's what I give. I know how hard it is to lose a loved one, I also lost my grandpa. You wrote this in such a unique creative way. When poems are written straight from the heart I feel that it captures the emotion of the writer and I like that. The fourth stanza is where I thought it was going to end. The next two stanzas were well written don't get me wrong. I think you did an amaing job. Sorry to hear about you loss! Take Care! Brooke~