SHHHH secrety

OK this may sound weird
but I'm in love with my beard
don't tell
its embarrassing
i don't want to go to down there
its scary
and please don't make me go to the barber
i don't want it shaved
its my love and my love only
i told u not to tell so if u do
i will MAKE u go down there
in that scary place
and without Ur beard Ur nothing
kinda like me
don't tell about my secret love for my beard though
or else they will think i am weird and make me shave it off
you don't want to no what we do at night
it might give u nightmares
for ever
OK well i love u and my beard
bye