If I could be the president's speech writer,
I could change things.
If I was the president's speech writer,
I would crown George W. king.
I would set Him on stage and make Him say the following things:
I would make Him go back to renogtiate Kyoto with Japan, and in exchange, get a better insight into China's and North Korea's plans.
I would send Him to Iraq,
to impress his dad,
and make him tell those people
to stop blowing things up
because the more things you blow up,
the longer our troops will stay.
Like parents of a disobediant child,
we can't trust you if you keep blowing our friends up.
But we're not your parents.
We're better.
We don't give up if you refuse to grow up.
We will sit and wait
like the friends and family of an addict
are supposed to be.
I wouldn't even mention the, quote, Defense of Marriage Act, end quote.
It only divides his precious coalition.
I will make him the uniter, not the divider,
as he promised.
And while we're on promises, I would hold him to the one he made to Ozzy Osbourne about growing his hair out long.
But I guess that's more of his stylist's problem.
Anyway, anyone who can't see the unison
must be too blinded by fear and hate.
There is no reason we have to be the same
to be able to live together in peace.
I would make the president actually sound like
the Christian he professes to be.
If I was the president's speech writer,
I'd show the world
how the Word can change things.
If I was a preacher
I could change things.
Step one, I would reconcile all Christians
under one Holy Catholic Church.
Oh, no, I said Catholic in the South!
The Baptists will now
feed me to the Jews.
Hey, I'm Catholic
but God has a sense of humor too.
If I was a preacher
my whole doctrine would be
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
and how we should all strive
to live as he did,
Jesus is the example.
Belive what you will about His sacrifice,
but simply believing that you are sinless
doesn't guarantee eternal life.
Muslims, Hebrews, Buddhists, Hindus alike
agree that Jesus the Nazarene
was atleast some form of Divine.
So Honor His Life, because He gave it for you.
Seek your own Faith.
Take as much time as you need,
but as you march your own Hajj,
don't smash another's dreams.
Whether you're right or not,
you have no right
to curse anybody else's life.
Whether you're a Muslim, an addict, arrogant, or gay.
I could never hate you
for living this way or another.
It's not in my nature.
It would be fake.
Any meaness would be blasphemy
against the Lord's name.
Because no matter what name, face, idea,
you choose to pray to,
the Holy Spirit
lives inside you.
If I was a preacher,
maybe I could open your eyes to Him in Humanity too.
If I was a cop
I could police the world for evil.
Serve and protect
the whole human race
from killing eachother,
and making the Kingdom
a safer place.
If I was a psychologist,
I would have a new
profound insight
into solving people's problems.
If I was a teacher or
a scientist, maybe study History,
so I don't repeat
all those mistakes
my parents made.
If I were a doctor or lawyer
and made lots of money;
and eased pain and suffering in the world;
then I would change things.
Yeah, if I was the president's speech writer
I would change things,
but what would I change
if I see Heaven in every crevice of the Earth,
on every face of the whole Human race?
What if I am content
with the world as it is?
Do you find that hard to believe?
Do you detect I'm a little naive?
Percieve, what you will, I won't alter your view.
Who knows? It's probably true.
All I know is what I've grown to see,
the world can't be changed,
but I can change the world in me.
If I was the president's speech writer,
I could change things,
but all I want to do is entertain.
