A Year Ago Today.

October 26, 2003
A year ago today,
I still remember it like it was yesterday
With my hand on his body,
While he suffered so calmly
Holding him close to my heart
His head on my face
Staring in his eyes,
But my mind going blank
Never said a word,
Just sat there and stared
And acted like it was no big deal
I didn't believe it,
I didn't want to
So I just stared into space
With the emptiness of my heart trying to replace
Replace what's inside...
It was gone,
Gone just like he was
Now just a memory in my head
And I remember my hand on him
While he took his last breath
And I watched him die,
But I didn't cry
I didn't say goodbye
I didn't hug him or kiss him one last time
I didn't even tell him I loved him
Cause I didn't want to believe he had died,
But now I know it's true
So now every time I close my eyes I see his face,
And the look in his eyes
And I say "I love you," and cry,
Cause I know it was the last time.

This is dedicated to my dog Dingo. He died October 26, 2003. This poem was written exactly 1 year later, October 26, 2004. It's the story of how it happened, starting with me holding him in the car while I was taking him to the vet and then seeing him die at the vet as they put him to sleep. It was really hard to let go. I had him for 13 years. Some people might say he was just a dog, but he was my best friend. I love you Dingo, and I miss you very much.