great poem my honest comment would be to pt it in verses.....other than that great poem xxx

ANOTHER excellent poem! Keep it up! 5

like i said on your poem called "hole instead of a heart", you repeat a word at the end of the line too often. if you used something other than 'then back of his hand' and something like his leg or arm or something, it'd sound better. 4/5

This was a powerful poem but abit choppy in places I think if you gave us more details this would be real good...

oh dear I'm so glad that did not happend to you! Im lucky enough to have very nice parents. I can't even imagine how it would feel like...:O

I agree with the comments above on this poem and am glad you have never had to face this type of situation. Your writing skills and imagination are apparent here, as you are still able to bring the childs feelings to the forefront of your work.

Keep Writing
Nici

I LLOVE THIS POEM UNFORTUNATELY IVE BEEN THROUGH THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER IM SO GLAD MY DADS GONE NOW

Okay. First of all I don't think you need to use same word rhymes. It takes away uniqueness and creativity when you confine yourself to using the same words. Second your stanzas arn't very even so it kind of makes it hard to read and it throws of a balance so we don't really get your whole idea. 4/5

I know how that goes, writing poems that dont relate one bit, great job! especially for a guy who hasn't had to go through with it.

It's a good poem, but I think you used "hand" and "stand" too much in the middle. Maybe later on, you'll get inspired again and you'll make it even better. But remember, it's already quite good. Keep writing, dear.

-Ice

That was very good nice job