XxHating Me MorexX

~* This poem is XxI Hate MyselfxX continued, it continues on the 6th paragraph, thanks for reading*~

I don't want to be like this
i don't want to hurt this way
i don't want to wake up
every single day,
to the pain on my inside
that never goes away

it hurts me more
than a bullet through my heart
and yes i would know
just sitting here all alone
rejected by another guy

I'm not cutting my wrists
that's just stupid right?
so instead i slash them
make sure they bleed
some never stop like the pain in my life

I'm always doing things to screw my life up more
which makes me hate more and more
I hate myself, and i hate me, for everything I've ever caused

i hate me
for every cigarette I've smoked
i hate me
for every cut I've made so far
i hate me
for all the insults i throw onto others
i hate me
for just being ugly, not a nice site, for others to see

and because i hate myself so much
i hurt myself, i slash myself
i cut myself so deep down, that my razor is covered in blood
blood that stains
which is why i hated myself in the first place!!!

does this make sense,
it does to me
hating myself
for cutting myself
but cutting myself
because i hate myself

i hate me
for every guy that has said no
i hate me
for not always acting like i was on show
i hate me
for always hiding the truth
and i hate me
for telling everyone, theres nothing there

of course i hurt
of course it pains
of course it makes the blood re-stain
of course i hide it
wouldn't you
if you knew
what i went through.

(C) Lucy Green