Pain Is Around Me

-*- I know it's long, but please read!! -*-

Pain it seeps
It makes me weep
Gives me the creeps
Try to lock it up, but have no key
Shake the pain, try to make it flee
Just some cracks to the door that makes up me

Kill it
Fill it
Some people use pills
And other thrills
Some use coke
Others smoke
Pot, beer, and other drugs
Turn peoples' pain into lone, lost thugs

Some get high
To get on the fly
To make it feel
Like the world's not real
To make it spin
To make it seem like they'll win
When the pain flows
Like no one else knows

From head to toes
Sometimes suicide
Seems to abide
And be the only way
To be gone from what others do and say
Although it can't be right
Gotta keep up the fight
And hold on tight

Though it seems
Pain's like rain
Makes me go insane
It's such a shame
Why would a happy, Christian girl like me
Be going through so much pain and misery?

Wish it was over
Can't go on so sober
Depressed, obsessed
Too messed, confessed
Why don't I see
The old me
The way I used to be

Now I'm surrounded by people but feel so alone
Can't understand why I have to have split homes
And why do people tease
And try to please
You don't know what you're doing to some

It seems so wrong
I write my pain in poems and songs
I let some get a peek
But there's too much pain to speak
It seems to consume
There's not enough room
Pain, it looms

If pain is just a game that our minds play
Then why do we see it and feel it every day
In all ways
But pain...
Is around me.