Defeated Reality

Some nights I dream and scream thinking of days past, and looking forward trying not to get blast, as I walk through these ghetto roads, at night with the devil standing toe-to-toe, looking to God,praying to keep me safe, and if somthing happens I get another chance like K. West and Mase, but if I should pass while I lay my head to rest,  I ask friends and family not to mourn my death, but move on and put me out of your minds, just know I\'m in Zion away from Babylonian lines…They say God makes everything happen for a reason, God lemme ask… Why you make Torrel stop breathing? For awhile there\'ve been times I\'ve thought of suicide, caught myself, waking. Screaming \"Oh why!?!\", not understanding why my boy had to die, falling asleep to the melodiously haunting scream lullabies, the thoughts in my head keep me awake too late, and the fear of my dreams replaying those hated days, and a wave of emotion crashes down into my hemisphere of anger, in the form of an asteroid impacting me harder then the images of Christ in the manger,  I surge with a raw power to devour my own emotions, and then use them for my own good, an emotional photosynthesis,  F U C K THOSE I HELP AND DO NOTHING FOR ME, the bastards that won\'t give 2 minutes of their time to just listen to me, an internal Armageddon, my mind fighting my heart, it\'s tearing me apart, like an Angel descending from the skies, and ripping off it\'s wings to help a man in need, I feel like I must rip out my mind and heart to save my own, I have no hope for myself… Either way… I\'m defeated… - by JASON ( an ex of mine)
* I posted this poem of his , because I felt his intensity and pain. Its also one of my favs that he had shared with me.
* I would really appreciate if you wrote me a comment or rated my poetry - love,peace, & happiness