Messed up

Messed up again just trying to tell a story
Of my life so far, did not mean what I said
Words slip out, all the time they sting
What I say is different from what’s in my head

Words on paper still are not much better
Wish I could tell you exactly how I feel
My heart is breaking, as I spill my mind
To you this is a lie, but to me it is so real

Everything I said, was not said to disappoint you
But all the colours in my mind fade when spoken
All the feelings that I feel are real enough to me
But when I say those words I leave others broken

And I am sorry that I spend my days with others
Trying to bring a smile upon my face once more
I never meant for any of this, just simple words
Wish that I could change to the way I was before

So if you find me lying cold on the floor
Just remember that I did this on my own
Scars and weary arguments mean nothing to me
No matter what they say I am always alone

Messed you around by trying to be honest
But the words that I wrote came out wrong
And I hope that you will forgive me in the end
Never wanted this to go on for so long

Playing with your mind with my words
I lie whilst always attempting the truth
Try to erase my words from your memory
Whilst I write some more to sooth