Cut

---Please read this poem, thank you---

I don't know what to do
Lately I can't think right
I can't fall asleep anymore
Now I'm up all night

I'm so confused
Questions cluttering my mind
I'm still searching for an answer
But I'm afraid of what I'll find

I don't know how I'll go on
Or how to deal with this strife
I'm not sure I can take the pain
Or even take this life

It's been almost 7 months
Since I've decorated my arm
I thought that I was done with it
Done with my self harm

But I just can't take it
Everyone's wants and needs
It's becoming too much
I can't take all the greed

Everything seems hard now
Everything seems so wrong
Choices and what I do
Bruising my life all along

Sleepless nights of crying
And wondering what I did
Things I wish wouldn't happen
The things I've always hid

Now I just can't move on
And all I have is regret
I still remember all these things
That I wish I could forget

I remember all those times
Of screaming endless nights
Of this family corrupting
Flooding with tears and stupid fights

Of course I'm glad they're over
But the scar still remains
It just hurts me every night
To even think of that pain

And I guess I haven't moved on
From the one who stole my heart
Though I want to pretend it didn't happen
I know it did and it tears me apart

Broken friendships and now fake smiles
All I do is pretend
I'm acting like it doesn't hurt
That this stupid heart won't mend

But things are just getting worse
And nothing seems OK
Life seems to be this nightmare
That haunts me night and day

My friends they don't feel real
Like as if they're not really there
I feel disconnected from everyone
Who could barely even care

And then I look under my pillow
And see light reflecting on the blade
It's like a security blanket
Just in case the pain didn't fade

And now thousands of thoughts fly in
With tears streaming down my face
I don't know when it really happened
But I realize now I'm a disgrace

I really don't know what I do
As I think of cutting once again
Should I let the past succumb me
Are things going to be like they were back then...?

--I know its confusing...and doesn't really end anywhere...but it's what i was feeling..please vote/comment--