Love .. unknown

Why doesn't god want me?
he just wont let me in
every time i reach his gates
he sends me back to this world of sin

i tried everything just to be up there
i slit , i swallowed, cut and more
he just keeps sending me back
and I'm left, bleeding and sore

why doesn't my life end
I'm helpless being here
i still slit deeper and deeper
so i can leave my world of fear

Nothing in my life seems to matter anymore
No-one seems to care
Everyone just walked away
And this pain I can not bare