Don't hate my past

I’m not dumb, strange and mysterious,
I’m just not poised, dignified or serious.
Life is a game and I am finally winning,
Drunk on success, my head happily spinning.
I’m always honest now, I never will judge,
All mistakes are forgiven, I can’t hold a grudge.
Don’t think I’m dumb, stubborn or lazy,
I’m the opposite; intelligent but crazy.
Call me a “loser” but I know I’m not that,
I’m smiling, I’m winning, It’s all just a fact.

See I’m not that “stalker” who gets manipulated,
Because I don’t follow orders, that gets me frustrated.
I don’t play dumb games, don’t make crank calls,
I don’t contemplate suicide, they’re my past’s pitfalls.
I don’t talk mindless lies, especially when there’s proof,
So don’t ask me if I’m lying, because I prefer the truth
I love the friends I have made, my unconnected family,
I’ve truly found who I am, I finally know who’s me.
I don’t like the way I was portrayed last year,
Arrogant, impolite, never covering a tear.

Now I’m that girl with the smile here at last
Walking through a damaged life, singed by her past.
Basking in each day, still smiling every night,
Memories fade in and out, but I know I’ll be all right.
I made that mistake of falling, straight into his power
Overlooked by my patience that used to highly tower.
My soul is forever wounded, by a thing called history,
Where I played the evil one, in a game of no victory.
That day that I lost my voice, and the day I lost all trust,
Was the day my spirit died and left my body to rust.

So when you say ‘stalker’ you are making a mistake,
Because that clearly isn’t me, that all was only fake.
And I know I have been doomed, by this harsh history,
So please don’t hate me for my past…I swear that wasn’t me.