n_n

The second and third verses I think are good. The other two I think could be worked on,

Hope my honesty doesn't hurt.
(3)
L x

Your writing is fluffly to say the least no real power to it, good suggestion write about something out of the norm and paint us a picture with each word that passes through you hand. Give us a message show us your hurt take your work to a whole different level then you will be on your way to be a great writer take care...

again the ryming...but good poem i no how you feel..keep it up x

Friendship has it's ups and downs. If this is for the now, ex-best friend, hopefully she will read it.

I think you should get beyond friendship poems...show us what you can do, and remember, big poets never write something as they feel it in a second.They let it grow so as it will represent them even if time passes.You need to give your poems time.This is a good poem,but it needs work I think!Kisses sweetie!

that was excellent