Lonely goodnight **o**

I lie here in my bed
pretending to be asleep
i wish for you to come in
and plant a kiss on my cheek

Thats what you used to do
when i was still small
you gave me a goodnight hug,
now i get nothing at all

i lie there and wait
your visit never arrives
you go to bed and don't even glance at me
so you don't see my tears or hear my cries

it leaves me feeling empty
i really need a hug
but no-one's there to give it
so at my heart, i feel a tug

The tug is from the pain
pulling me towards the knife
i argue against it
thinking i can live through all the strife

The same thing happens every night
and the tugging gets stronger
I'm not sure if I've got much strength to tug back
or to hold on much longer.

i wrote this when i had a really bad day, one of my friends at school was killed on the weekend. May she rest in peace.