This one's for A.J

I don't want you to leave. You are not the cause of anything. I am just tired of everyone saying I have changed. Maybe this is the real me, because I have lied to everyone since i was little, even myself. I was happy and cheery on the outside, but on the inside, I felt the same way I do now, I was just really good at hiding it. Do you remember that day that we went to Water World and I wouldn't take off my shirt because I told you that you didn't want to see that? That is because I would have had cuts on my stomach. I didn't want you to see that, I didn't want to spark you're interest in that. If anyone is the cause of my cuts, it is Christina, she sparked my interest in it and she is what really flared the depression. But Nancy, you need to understand, I don't know who the really me is. The me you know is a lie, a lie I didn't want to live anymore. I think that everyone, including myself, is just starting to know me for the frist time. I don't want to lie anymore, Nancy. I want to be me and I don't know how you guys will react to it, but I know it hasn't been positive so far. But I refuse to lie any longer, from this point on, the way I act is the way I am, whether who likes it or not, including Ashley. I refuse to be another teen-suicide statistic and I don't want to lie anymore.

That's sad Nance... I hope you don't really believe you mad this kid cut, whoever he is. Stay strong for me!