Living on a thread of hope

Do you ever get that feeling?
That something is not right?
And you ask what’s wrong so much,
That you both get into a fight.

You sense things are different,
You can sense there has been a change.
You can sense his behavior is not normal,
You know he’s been acting strange.

You wonder what you did wrong,
Did I say something bad?
The questions are endless,
And they really make you sad.

For three weeks I had this feeling,
That something was not right,
So I confronted you about it,
Just the other night.

You did not really say much,
You could not tell me why you’d been acting that way.
You told me it would all work out,
And you’d see me in a couple of days.

You came around a few days later,
I felt sick when you walked in the door.
I had a feeling today was not going to be good,
My stomach sank to the floor.

You pulled me close to you,
Yet you did not speak at all,
I was so nervous about what would happen,
I swear I could feel myself starting to fall.

You held me for ages,
You held me for so long,
And it was then that I realized,
That something really was wrong.

Your hug was full of sorrow,
Your kiss full of regret,
I started to tremble uncontrollably,
I really started to fret.

You whispered I’m so sorry,
And then it all came out,
You were as devastated as me,
I could tell that without a doubt.

You said you could not do it anymore,
With her still on your brain,
You said it was making you feel so guilty,
And causing us both too much pain.

You were so sweet about it,
And you did not want to hurt my heart,
I know you did not mean to,
But you did tear it apart.

You said you still loved me,
But you needed some space,
As you said this,
I covered my eyes and my face.

I did not want you to see me cry,
But you moved my hands away,
You begged me not to cry,
While you thought of more to say.

You said you had tried everything else,
To stop your thoughts of this other one,
But nothing seemed to work,
From these feelings you could not run.

You thought it would be best,
If for a while we were just best mates,
So you could clear out your head,
And ultimately decide our fate.

We both cried so much,
I have never had such a hard conversation,
I couldn’t get rid of the feeling in my gut,
This burning, sickly sensation.

You started to go,
So you pulled me to my feet,
You hugged me tight,
And my heart skipped a beat.

You kissed my forehead,
And walked out the door.
I sobbed hysterically,
Crumpled in a heap on the floor.

Two days have gone by,
And I cry myself to sleep.
But I cannot help it for life without you,
Truly makes me weep.

I know I might still get you back,
But the chances are so slim,
I fear because I am without you,
My life just feels so dim.

I cannot sleep at night,
I lye there wide awake,
Thinking about us,
And this stupid little ‘break’.

I cannot eat anything,
For I just feel so damn sick.
I need things to work out babe,
Please sort your head out quick.

I had hoped we would last forever,
But I was aware that we might not.
But I thought we might cos I loved you,
And because you also loved me a lot.

I imagined breaking up with you,
But I did not think it would hurt this bad,
I did not think I be this upset,
I did not think I’d take it this bad.

So while the thoughts swirl through my mind,
I pray to god each night.
I pray to god to fix things,
I pray for him to make things right.

For if things don’t work out,
I am not sure if I will cope.
But I am trying to be positive,
I am living on a thread of hope.