Wow, that was mind blowing, I loved the referal to smoke rings, it was inspirational, I will definitely take a look at more of your work, that poem was brilliant, really great ending kept me hooked the entire way through, well done to you, keep it up =)

take care xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've said it before, Ria, and I'll say it again..

You are such a good writer...

I'm impressed by how you successfully manage to change the number of lines in each stanza while still maintaining a nice rhytm...The rhyming scheme is great...and almost none of the rhymes seemed forced...

Simply great...Very sad though,...

I really liked the ending...that conclusion...

just great!

Very unique and intense the whole way through. I did enjoy it and thanks for allowing me to find you thru the "request to read" section. I'm checking out more of your work now.

awesome detail and visuals, kept me reading the whole way through, keep up the good work

I really loved this poem it flowed and the story was well done all and all a very good read you should pat yourself on the back for this one...

This poem is OK. I kind of got lost a bit. But I like this part:

As lights fade and wind runs faster
The final train will bring disaster

-Tiff

Wow, very unique, never read a poem like this one....I really like it!!! Great story....Keep up the good work =0)

*Love Sabrina*

WOW! I am so glad you told me to check this poem out! It was amazing, I completely admire this. The ending was just... perfect, you really couldn't include much more!
I love the metaphor, the death theme (a bit of melancholy) and the mystery of this girls (pressumably) death.
It was awe-inspirating, gruesome yet at the same time... not dark.
I do not know how to explain this in any other way, you have a talent for making a poem into a story.
WELL DONE! 5/5

A unique poem with a vast amount of description. Job well done!

Keep Writing
Nici

You have such a brilliant way with words, i'm always pleasantly surprised.

Good!I liked it! It reminds me of FF2 crimson butterfly this crazy twisted story about twins in old japan. Also it remind me of a book by holly black...It's really good!!!

really good! 5/5..i'd give ya a 6 if i could..lol...keep up the good work, and i hope to read more of your work!

WOW! nice job i know that i have a rele long way to reach this perfect level in writing.

Plz read some of my poems n give me some comment abt how i can be like u in writing.

Beautiful, but it sounded very sad, as though you were going through a moment of a lot of emotional turmoil when you wrote it. Thats just the feeling I got from it. Again, a wonderful poem, and I absolutely loved the scenery of gloom. Vey good!

Good Writing!
beth

This was an excellent poem. As everyone said, your talent is excellent. The poem flows well, and the structure helps to develop meaning. The ending is particularly shocking. I liked it. Very well done.

You've really impressed me. This one is too good. You have a very creative mind. And you know how to write. I love the description of this poem. It's wonderful!