Kindred Shadow

I’d sit in my room fiery but ever placid,
Wishing I knew a kindred shadow,
Did you also wait in lonely blackness?
Strumming a guitar whilst inside war rages.

I always felt like an outsider looking in,
No point trying to raise my voice,
Did you ever attempt to speak over the din?
Or did you, like me, feel you had no choice?

Feeling like a ghost, a shadow,
A spectator not a member,
Like looking in through a window,
Never belonging, lost in empty eternity.

Wish we could have found one another,
In the time we were completely alone,
I would have shielded you, took on any burden,
Now I’d take a bullet just for you to notice me.

Someone must speak, but not me,
It’s your turn to open your eyes,
Feel the connection, look up and see,
Before my heart gives up and dies.

But you are the sunshine,
Perhaps you deserve a goddess,
Or at least a princess or queen,
And I am neither I must confess.

I miss you though you give me no reason to,
We have only talked on three occasions,
Once I uttered the word "sorry" when I bumped into you,
But our glances give me something to remember you by.

I can’t deny what my heart refuses not to feel,
An invisible connection in the surrounding air
Your glow proves the sun does exist, is real
And without you life’s not really there.

It’s been three years since I first saw your light,
For all this time I've felt this passion grow,
Suppressing it is a continual, exhausting fight,
But I feel it-you are my kindred shadow.

Copyright Mairi Mackenzie 2005