Hi, i'd just like to say i thought 'With you' was excellent, especially the part If I could get for you the stars in the sky
I might fail, but I'll forever try

and it was really creative and it flowed well. It was very captivating. It was a great read.

I thought this poem was an interesting read from an unusual angle as it appears the grandmother still feels young at heart by thre parts about ernie and te boy. well done! both are great!

Jemma

Thankyou

I wouldn't say your rhymes are forced, infact i think you came upn with some unusual ones which if anything are intriguing. The one that possibly could be interpretted to be forced is, in my opinion is:

But my heart hangs more dangerously so
On a promise strung low

This mainly because i am slightly stupid and know not precisely what you mean. I would not critizise that however, unless asked as i feel the poem is one of the best i have read to this date. You have a unique style and if this is how you choose to write, don't let anyone say it is wrong. Also they are your poems and if you like them, as you say you do, i don't think it matters if anyone else, including myself, like them. However, i'd better point out I do like it, very much.

Good Luck! I'll keep checking on your work.

Jemma

P.s sorry if i rambled on