This is very inspirational - and yes i have read more- obviously lol. I like this although if i may critize... i'm not sure
'And you feel so naughty'cfits the tone of the rest of the poem. All in all another amazing piece. And by the way if you compare our profiles you will notice you do in fact have a larger rating than me - so well done!
Jemma

well what you write normally reflects what mood youo're in - in my case. I have my fair share of sad, dark and totally random. Have your tried writing in free verse. I find it harder as the structure is not there to support the piece but a good free verse is incredible. I have a go every now and again. You should try it - if you haven't. Usually what you mean comes throughmore - well that's my opinion. I'm saying this because of the 'forced rhyme thing' from earlier. no one could critize that if there was no rhyme. Just an idea.

Well i have submitted one more poem now and so i'm off to bed lol. Good job i don't have an exam tomorrow lol -11:30n over here. If you want i'll private message you so you can email me if ya want - might be easier to talk rather than on comments

Talk soon, i'm sure

Jemma

i left a comment on Abyss with an answer. Good night. Keep writing. Just a totally random thought before i go. It's not really about the awards. comments are great, especially those with advice on how to improve. Sometimes people give rubbish ratings just cos they feel like it. it doesn't matter because they don't matter. You matter so anyway. Good luck.

I really do love to talk don't I.

Jemma

Seriously i'm going now lol.

I think this one needs to be rewritten slightly like Ð맆îñ¥ sed its very much forced rhyming- please write on a few of mine x even tho this was very critique I like most of your work .. Keep it up. -And don't worry too much about me critisings I can't help it I do it to everyone and everything