Sweet 16 with no hopes nor dreams

Today is my birthday
and I'm sweet 16
celebrating it with
no hopes nor dream
no one here can listen
or say a special thanks
these people i am living with
are just a bunch of blanks
these blanks are in my mind
they never seem to leave
and ever since my dad walked out
these blanks, they came to live
telling me I'm useless, worthless
there is no point trying
and i can try as hard as hell
but i never can ignore them
they said that i was the on
that made my mother die
i made her crash the car
when i was only 9
these blanks, i don't know who they are
but i want them to go away
so...I'm sweet 16 and the blanks are here to stay
my parents are gone
so I'm all alone
1 cut for mum
1 c for dad
2 cuts me
and 2 for being mad
6 cuts in total
to drown out the blanks
they made me do this
this isn't self harm
the scars upon my wrist
they weren't put there with a blade
they were put there with self doubt
and hope that always fades
and every time i look at them
i always sit and mope
in exactly 1 year
i will be 17
and for my final birthday wish
i wish i had no doubt!

(C) Lucy Green

*thanks for Reading my poem i would really appreciate votes and comments :)*