Out of place

Am I attention seeking to tell you how I feel?
Do you not believe all my suffering is for real?
Am I really being selfish when I show you what I do?
The cuts are on MY arms, how can this hurt you?
Why make me feel guilty for having such a hard life?
Why see what I have done and take away my knife?
You really think that will stop the pain I feel inside?
I still cut now, but in a place that I can hide.

I don't need your sympathy, please keep it for yourself
I just need to forget about my past, and focus on myself
Yes I'll always be addicted to the release of self harm.
But you cant watch me forever, cant keep checking on my arms.
I know how I feel and I can deal with this my way
I have friends I can talk to who have helpful things to say

Its sad that people can only understand and help with this pain
if they've been where I am and have dealt with it the same
I wish it on nobody, it doesn't get you far
Just to an endless circle, enclosed in a sealed jar
You can struggle to get out but you never really will
All the anger gets caught inside and your blood you need to spill

I don't expect you to understand I'll stand here on my own
I'll fight for myself and put up a good show alone
A happy face for you happy people, a strain on my week mind
I need a way to cope, this is what I hope someday to find
A release of all this anger, frustration and my pain
Its like standing outside being the only one stood in the rain
Dripping wet, maybe from tears, make-up running down my face
Everyone stares, looking at my scars, I feel so out of place.

I'm not a freak, I'm not the only one who copes this way.
I see how you look at me and here what you say.
But I'm getting on and looking forward my life is running calm
I'll not expect to be cured but I'm coping with self harm.