Goodbye...

Wont someone help me
I'm tired of this pain
Why cant I live normally
Why wont this pain go away
its been 5 years since the incident
And i still cant get it out my head
maybe cause everyones always yelling at me
saying its my fault you're dead
I didn't mean to play games instead of love you
I was only kid
I didn't know what I really wanted
But i right now I wish i could take back what I did.
If only I would've agreed
and went along with you
You wouldn't have went home right away
I'm sorry I didn't know what to do
I was only a kid
careless and free
I didn't pay attention to what death was
its was all fun and games with you and me
but now i see my careless ways
have took you outta my life
and its all cause childish things back then
that I'm stuck here holding this knife
What is preventing me
from beginning to slice my wrists
I wanna be with you in heaven
Where I can see you, and know you exist.
I hear everyone saying
"Shes with you all the time"
but what the hell, they cant prove it.
cause all I see is your death in my mind
the dark and choking smoke
the blazing heat of the flames
the sounds of your screams in my ears
and everyone yelling our names
The sirens from the fire trucks
and the yelling from the neighborhood
If only i could turn back time
I'm telling you I would...
now that I think about it
you're were so young when you passed away
why should i get the right to live
when you cant....the same way....
We were both in the fire
why were you the one to die
I deserved it more than you did
thats why I refuse to say goodbye....