May 28th

I write this because it's my 16th birthday tomorrow and although I'm thankful I'm alive,things just aren't what I've wanted in the past year,it's been hell,and all I can think of is what's next.So I'm writing the thought down.

I wake up tomorrow,
It wont be any different,
I just don't know how,
I just wont go,
I place myself in the team,
Because they will never know,
How I'm feeling,
How I just can't flow,
How I want to scream,
To them I will not show,
That I feel guilty,
How I feel useless,
Even though,
It's been so long,
And I've always had,
That favourite song,
To get me through,
But I just want to throw,
All that along,
Because I'm feeling sad,
Not looking forward,
Because it's not you,
It's me,
And I'm confused,
My heart sawed,
Right in front of me,
And all I can do,
Is survive,
Because I forever wait,
To be thawed,
Until I get to see,
Get to see you,
Because while I'm alive,
My hands are unclean,
And I'm dreading a new year,
Because tomorrow I look back,
And I fear,
Myself turning sixteen.