Its been hiding for 20 long years
Can’t remember when I was chased by the fear
Just had a dream that unleashed that old pain
Showering upon me like a hard summer rain
Felt so alone when it happened to me
Things that occured that never should be
Covered it up, Pushed it away
Tormenting my soul from that very day
White hot rage bubbling up from within
Tearing me apart as I think about then
All of my anger, All of my Hate
Carried with me an enormous weight
Trying to hide from what I now see
Uncovered memories that I am trying to flee
Grasping to get back in my protective shell
Trying to get away from that cold day of hell
Could not defend myself for I was so meek
Lost all my innocence cause I was to weak
Traveling with me, all of my shame
Crying my eyes out for I am to blame
I’ve walked alone ever since then
Trying to hide that dark hurtful sin
Lost all my loves, Lost all my cares
These are flashbacks of things I can’t bare
Trembling I sit here singing this song
Fighting for things that were lost oh so long
Hear my anguish, Hear my dread
Since that day my heart has been dead
Protecting myself from the past that I lost
Willing to pay every ounce of the cost
Now it is open, Now it is free
Breaking my boundaries with humorless glee
Who I am now? Who was I then?
Why was I forced to live with that sin?
Where can I turn to? Who can I face?
How can I deal with this horrid disgrace?