Living less

There was a time when I was hopeful and carefree
I could see a point to living, I could find a piece of hope
But now a week without the people I need has arrived
Standing around by the judgemental rope

But now I want to pull out of this, I have to hide away
I cannot keep on hurting her, letting her take my pain
Tired of being a victim of deception and rejection
Waiting on a lonely station for happiness to come again

Broken before I was truly made, dead before I've lived
Waiting around for a phone call, to tell me she survived
The operation room waiting, ominously to take her
Sit at home, tears and emotions, trying not to cry

Wanting a million different ways of being interested
Bored of being happy when I sit with a smile plastered on me
Maybe there is someone up there, but I haven't met him
Only ever met the shadows beneath the broken sea

Thank you for the chance I had, I've stopped now
But without it I am empty, I have no other way to express
Protecting my identity locked in depression
Every minute I am breathing, but I am living less...