No Grand Finale

If I just died today,
would anybody care?
I don't think they really would,
so everyone stays unaware.

They only see me smile,
never see my tears,
never see my depression,
even after all of these years.

I feel like I am worthless,
I don't deserve to be alive,
fighting a hidden battle,
for the goal I no longer strive.

I feel like a shell,
as if I'm already gone,
why is my body even still here,
I should give in and let it move on.

I'm happy round my friends and family,
a replay they do not need,
but when I am simply by myself,
I pray I might succeed.

I've never tried to end it yet,
although sometimes I think I should,
and give up fighting this ongoing war,
I know I really could.

But on days like these I see my parents,
and they remind me of why I'm here,
if I gave up fighting,
from their eyes would fall the tears.

And never would they stop,
forever they would mourn,
and I don't think I'm that selfish,
so them I have to at least warn.

My friends have no idea,
cause I know they would get in my way,
and forever there would be a rift,
because of what I didn't say.

So if I end it quickly,
the nobody has to know,
and I no longer have to keep acting,
and putting on a show.

©
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